it's been a whileee,no?

haven't felt this way for a while now.

simply cos,

i got off work early today. specifically, right-on-the-dot.

after pulling off this today, i've to say it isn't easy. it's kinda awkward when you find yourself the only one in the office whois packing up. it doesn't help when i've loads to put away; the wires, laptop, my bottle, the papers.

it's even more discomforting when you finally decide (yup. after spending a minute or two contemplating when's the right time to get going)to get your ass off the swirly chair, half hoping that it won't let out a squeak when you do, to walk across the room and out the door.

i swear, i was not breathing normally in that few seconds it took me to stride across the room.

as much as i know i deserve to get off earlier today, i found it quite a tricky stunt to pull. after the consecutive long nights that i've had in the office the last coupla days, it's time to knock off early. i need rest. bleah.

i woke up this morning, thinking 'this is it! i want my leave now.' as i sat by my bed, trying to cajole myself out of the bed, i found myself harbouring how it would feel if i could sleep in. rightfully, of course. not having to run to the doc and bull out a crap.

sigh. but of course, that ain't gona happen anytime soon. till friday at least.

*seats tight*

completely: chipper

it's been a grumpy week this week. i swear this bout of mood swings should and have to die off this week. i'm tired of being perturbed at all things slight, annoyed and irritated with the short-fused me.

it's this week only, i must stress.

bleah.

today was much better though. i actually went through the day feeling good, cept this teeny bit towards the end of the afternoon. we were having our coffee sesh when heat from the sun just went on, on and on. my jeans was trapping all that heat, scalding my tigh beneath it. it was so ridiculously, blazingly hot. it just turned me irritable in a split second. but mind you, though pek cek, i didn't start screaming or shouting at bern, or at any other prson that happened to walk by my table, or anyone whom happened to look this way. it was plain harmless pek cek-ness. that's all, no real big damage.

but i reckon, bern might beg to differ. even so, it doesn't push either of us any step away from each other. that's whyyy i think my guy's so sweetly good! like from where am i gona find another who can take this similar crap from me?

meanwhile, i'm wishing this pain in the ass (this horrific swing in moods and emo) away. gona lax my mind for a while with the restaurant empire now.

and so, it's valentine's day. no hype. nothing extraordinary. and i like it this way.

i like surprises. a gift or any lavish evening plan this night would make the intention appear obligated, forced. i wouldn't quite like that. 'do only when you want to. not, when you have to.' - me.

i was satisfied having a simple dinner with bern. and, our coffee sesh thereafter. simple, yet heartwarming. he asked if i minded him not giving me flowers. honestly, i would smack his head (plus, a few rounds of eye-rolling) if i could. is that how you see me? but of course, 4 years after, we've more or less established this fact. this man is probably taking precautions on his part. afterall, i'm a girl.

speaking about girly tendancies, i had my meeting over at a client's this morning. woo, we were pretty overwhelmed by their boardroom furnishings. speak of extravagance.

momentarily, i felt i was playing adult. y'know, it reminds me of those silly times when i was younger. i loved to straddle in my mom's heels and pretend that i was a working adult. to work, and not school! better still, i was even able to pretend that i had a car. don't ask me how now. i think i used the sofa.

anyyway, yup. back in that boardroom, i thought i was at it once again. even now and then, i've to remind myself that this is all real. i've to pinch and affirm that this surreality is pretense no more.

cos, i'm old enough now.

and this old-enough-girl has to hit the sack now. she's dead beat.

completely: drowsy

work was good today. i'm pretty done with what i was left to do, except some loose ends that i've to tie.

it's double hurrah because weekend's here. i lurrve fridays. i go slightly apprehensive on saturdays cos half of my weekend is effectively over. and, i dread sundays. alas, it's a vicious weekly mood cycle i'm embroiled in.

as always, 'this is the working life my dear. welcome!', bern would say.

Oh well, till monday. in the meantime whines aside, i've a busy day ahead tomorrow. it's to the temple very early in the morning, a cousin's r.o.m luncheon at about 12, linger linger toasts and linger more, then to dinner at my aunt's place. which brings me back to the point: with this hectic day tomorrow, there goes my saturday. already!

i feel short-changed.

i'm hanging desperately onto the last coupla hours of what's left of 2005's chinese new year hols.

to note: entertaining/talking to three kiddos can wash you out. family planning!

completely: drained